i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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