hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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