other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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