They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
