he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
