I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
