what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
