The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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