Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
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I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
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I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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