I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
