apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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