hell yes lets make some ravioli
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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