i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
