Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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