she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
