my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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