Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
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