your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
