I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
