Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
