i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
