I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Randomize
