arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
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I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
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