you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
