Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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