I'm lost and stupid without you.
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize