I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
