watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
