Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
So much Jack, so little girl.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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