Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Randomize
