Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
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