You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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