she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
