What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
