I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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