one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
