I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
