Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
