I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Randomize
