my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
The adults are the big ones right?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
