did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
So much Jack, so little girl.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
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