Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
