so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
