apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
