Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
