grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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