i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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