i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
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