dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Everclear isn't food dammit
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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