Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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