Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
