But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
