dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
