i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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