he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Do vagina's smell?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
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Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
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All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
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