Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
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