Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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