I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
