The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Couch. On fire.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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