I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
