he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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