I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
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