well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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