you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
