I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
